Wednesday, July 9, 2008

It seems like ages, dahling...

Goodness me, it's hard for a girl to escape the topic of infertility these days. I've counted no less than five articles on infertility issues online in the last week. For example, who knew that fertility in men decreases after age 40? (She types with a straight face.) And that's not counting the omnipresent pregnant celebrity, which I wouldn't know about anyway because I'm entirely too cultured to read about such things. Ahem.

I've very much enjoyed my fertility vacation. I've been keeping up with all of you, though I haven't been commenting as often. Sort of makes me a cad, I guess, like an "I meant to call, really" kind of blogger. In my defense, I've just needed to be away from it all. Dramatic sigh, back of hand to forehead.

I dipped back into the infertility pool this morning. Ordinarily, my RE's office is fairly empty. I show up, get wanded and get the flock out. This morning it was packed. With couples. Dear God in heaven, it was "results" day. First couple walks in, holding hands, anxious, I hear her tell the nurse at the reception area that the nerves are killing her. Another couple comes in, nervous smiles, gentle pats. And there I sit. Wondering. Trying not to make eye contact. Giving them their private hopes. Clearly, this is the first try for the first and second couples. The third couple that walks in looks a bit more road weary and time tested. I eventually learn that of the three couples, one is pregnant, the others are not. Could it be, finally, for couple #3?

There's always an easy familiarity at the RE's office. Jokes and smiles and hugs. My favorite nurse crashed her grocery cart into mine at the local Kroger. Crappy driver. I didn't stop to wonder until later if the couples noticed, hoping they would never have occassion to build that kind of rapport.

The appointment went well. Everything looks good, is where it should be, nothing where it shouldn't be. I have to take their word for it; I continue to believe that my uterus looks more like a rutabaga than a uterus on the dildocam. Hmm, maybe that's the ...? Anyway, everyone feels really good about this next cycle. Me, too. I feel good and strong and resolved. I really do.

9 comments:

Io said...

Dahling, so glad you're feeling good. No worries about being a cad. We all need a vacation from it sometimes.

PJ said...

I'm always wondering what the other patient's stories are in the waiting room.

Glad you're feeling good about this next cycle. Me too. I feel much more relaxed. :)

luna said...

1/3, that seems to be the going rate...

wishing you well with this cycle.

Duck said...

I always felt jealous of those couples that were coming in for results, they look so hopeful, and never getting to that stage, well, i'm jealous.

gracechild said...

bad thing is, I never make eye contact at my clinic with other patients. I sometimes think I'm like some kind of long timer over there... read all the magazines in the waiting area. Good to hear you're all set for this next cycle

Carrie said...

A passing nurse said hello to me by name the other day. At first I was quite pleased and then a bit annoyed she knew who I was. Odd really.

I'm glad you're feeling good about this cycle.

peesticksandstones said...

I always think I see nurses and doctors from my clinic when I'm out on the town. But who am I kidding? My RE's probably at his trillion-dollar mansion on a private island somewhere, being fed grapes my naked 18 year-old playboy models.

Wishing you all the best with this upcoming cycle. Why is always easier to believe in other peoples' cycles than my own/ Sigh...

Mrs.X said...

Hello my dear! So lovely to have you back and I will be thinking lots of positive thoughts for you on this cycle. Isn't it wonderful to start a cycle when you've had a chance to mellow? Wine is so much more pleasant when it's been aged.

As for the uterus on the dildocam screen, I still can't wrap my mind around how it looks on the screen and the 3D model in the office.

Evil Stepmonster said...

Its fabulous that you've enjoyed your break and will be entering a new cycle feeling strong. Best wishes to you.