Monday, October 5, 2009

Time Does Fly.


7 weeks tomorrow. I've started several posts...one about the birth, one about the first few weeks, one as recently as yesterday and, while time has flown, my words have fallen flat. I lack the talent to articulate how my smiling boy has changed my life. How his little self has sent my spirits and my heart soaring and at the same time brought me to my knees. Rejoice at the milestones, the first smile, the first coo (oh yes, "ma ma" will be the first word even if it isn't); frustration at his cries (all your needs are met little boy, what could possibly cause your tears?); worry for his well being which will surely plague me the rest of my days; and acute vulnerability...how is possible to feel so much so deeply? It's true, nothing could have prepared me for this. All of this. The love, yes, absolutely. Joy, wonder, awe. And at times the frustration, the dizzying inability to figure out his cries on top of crushing fatigue. (Trust me, you can have an army of help and you will still be tired.) But always, always, the pinch-me-it-can't-be-true, this child is mine.
It was all worth it. Every. Single. Step.

9 comments:

luna said...

He's beautiful! Just precious. Time flies, doesn't it?

Almamay said...

Beautiful post. Couldn't agree more. Our boys are a week apart and the past 8 weeks have been the most amazing of my life. To think I almost gave up trying. Worth every single one of the 18 TXs.

PJ said...

He is so very beautiful!

Thanks for the reminder of what all this might bring. Sometimes I forget--take my eye off of the prize.

Denise said...

Good to see you surfacing for air. We're over 9 months in and I still have those surreal moments of "surely I didn't get this lucky, I must be dreaming!" I miss your writing, but honestly, I'd be happy with just more pictures of baby goodness!

Another Julia said...

It IS worth it. All of it!
Adam is painfully cute! :)
My little IVF/ICSI miracle #2 is two weeks old today. We are so, so lucky--a fact I don't forget for one single minute.
Enjoy your precious little one. He's gorgeous.

Io said...

He is too adorable! I'm so glad that he is everything and more.

Rebeccah said...

Such a sweet smile!

2roads said...

I have no words for you, just tears and shared joy. I understand every word you wrote and have been pulling for you for so long. A hard fought battle. Enjoy every minute. Thanks for sharing your journey.

Adam is just beautiful!

Evil Stepmonster said...

Isn't it amazing the joy a simple smile can bring?! So glad you're enjoying this precious time.