Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Stupid People

People say the dumbest things. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And because my mood is slightly rancid today, I feel compelled to share.

1. This is a true story. I was shopping in this adorable boutique near Kiawah, South Carolina recently. I bought a funky fun jacket there last year and was pleased to be back and see what other delicacies I could find. I wandered around a bit and noticed that things had changed a bit. Last year, the clothes were edgy and modern, now they were sort of upscale slut. A woman of my delicate years can't pull off navels, you know. So, I was walking out of the store and the salesperson said to me, no joke, "if you're leaving because you don't see any of your size, we keep the larger sizes in the back."

Self: Silence. Surely she didn't say that.
Self: "Excuse me?"
Stupid Person: "Yes, I didn't want you to leave because you didn't see your size. We keep the large sizes in the back."
Self: Silence. Incredulous stare. Finding self getting defensive. WTF? Yes, I could lose ten but I'm not ready for Kiawah Tent and Awning. I could snap you like the uncute twig you are, Stupid Person. I can't believe that was just said to me. Bring out a scale, you twit, and I'll show you I'm a respectable weight. And, you, you, shame on you, you perpetuator of distorted body images. And I'll have you know I graduated 8th in my law school class. Bitch.

Self leaves.
P.S. Self has returned to the gym.

2. Another true story. I was shopping with my adorable Mom not too long ago and we ran across a woman who used to teach me in Sunday School. It was Christmas time, right on the heels of my first BFN. She was wearing reindeer antlers. You see where I'm going with this. We were having a nice conversation, catching up on her children, my sister, my marital status. She asked me if I was going to have children. (Aside: Why do people feel comfortable asking these questions? I would never think to ask someone, so tell me, do you put the max in your 401k? Those shoes you're wearing, did you pay full price (chortle) or did you get them on sale? Is that really your nose?) I said, "I'm not sure about that one." Her response, no kidding, "well, you better get on it, how old are you anyway?"


What makes it all better?

Self loves shoes.

No seriously, I don't think I was so aware of the effects of our words until the infertility fairy came to roost. The first example above is just stupidity. The second example is stupidity and insensitivity... a lethal combination.
Next post: Stupid People and the Stupid Things They Do


S said...

So crazy!!! I mean, what size were the large sizes they kept in the back??? Size 8??? Why would they keep the large sizes in the back??? Crazy, just crazy!!!

Io said...

WHAAAA? I can't *believe* somebody would say that. It makes me think of that scene from Pretty Woman only WORSE and less justified.

JJ said...

Morons...really, "bigger sizes in the back?!" Effin whore...

luna said...

wow. the second one makes me want to say something really obnoxious in response to her rude ignorance. unbelievable.

and jj's comment gave me a good chuckle.

Duck said...

Yes stupid people are everywhere, I think a sign for me of someone else that is dealing with infertility is when they don't ask questions about when your going to pop out a baby(for ex, my inlaws never ever ask, but that is because it took my mil 4 years to get pregnant with my husband, which must have been hard on her, but has been a blessing for me).

gracechild said...

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! is the appropriate phrase. I wish we could have that tasered on the foreheads of people who say dumb stuff. But the shoes are MAGNIFICENT. so lovely

Pepper said...

There should be a licensing program where all stupid people have to wear a Big Old Sign declaring their stupidity so the rest of us will know to avoid them.

I once had a store owner yell, "Those are too small" when I was going to go try on a pair of ski pants. I was standing next to my boyfriend at the time, horrified and humiliated.

Oh, and I've had the "You aren't getting any younger" comment too. Dipsh!ts, all of them.

Shinejil said...

Your next post will be a very long one. :) It's obvious why Idiot #1 is working as a salesgirl and not a lawyer. Lawyers need brains.

Ah, the comebacks that come streaming in for case number 2:

1. "What? Get on it right now? Here in the mall?"

2. "I don't take advice from Santa's woodland friends."

3. "Isn't it about time you got to learning some manners?"

4. "Now that we've talked about me, can I ask you questions about your sex life now?"

Idiots. I mean, do men ever get asked dumb shit about their bodily functions? "So, are you regular? Well, better get on that fiber now!" Gag.

Katie said...

I stumbled across your blog and found a couple similarities in our stories... just had a cancelled FET :(, frequently refer to myself as "self", and freaking love shoes. Just saw Sex in the City tomorrow and will be hitting the shoe store tomorrow.

Tracey said...

I'm the 5th grade health teacher...what did yours tell you?

Frenchie said...

And anyone wonders why an otherwise normal person could suddenly commit murder? (I'm not saying you would, of course, but I'm not so sure what I would have done in the face of such stupidity!) ARGGG!!!!

Bee Cee said...

Maybe she checks her brain cells at the door when she starts work....dumb ass!

Just caught up with your post about not feeling really perky about cycling again..I am in exactly the same place. Its strange when I have gone at it like a train in the past.

Maybe we'll be cycling at the same time.