Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Back in the saddle again...

I'm starting IVF #3. On time. In spite of my 58 day cycle. Who knew! We're already off to a riproaring start.

Meds arrived last Friday. I didn't unpack the box until I arrived home. Yes, yes, I know that Follistem needs to be refrigerated, but I also know...from experience...that they pack it nice and comfy with ice packs. Back off, would you, I'm a pro. I put the Menopur in the refrigerator. Funny, I don't remember it taking up so much space last time. I take the empty box to the garbage outside. In the alley. Behind the garage.

Saturday morning I decide to check off the meds I received against the packing slip. So responsible. Hmm, strange. Follistem pen, but no Follistem. Is it in the fridge with the Menopur? Um, no, but Menopur doesn't need to be refrigerated. Silly. Take nicely chilled Menopur out of the fridge. Smack head, holy smokes, big pharmacy forgot to send me $1500 worth of Follistem. Dumb pharmacy. Call pharmacy. Explain gently, kindly, patiently that of course I checked the box. I'm a pro. I've done this several times. Pharmacy screwed up, send me Follistem. Yes, yes, I'm sure you checked the packing list carefully, big pharmacy, but I wouldn't be so stupid to throw away $1500 of injectables. Yes, thank you. You'll send it next week? Great. Click. Pause. Silence. Put on raincoat, shoes, retrieve box from garbage behind garage in the alley. Remove $1500 worth of Follistem from box, nestled neatly under two ice packs. Call big pharmacy back. Tell them Nevermind.

Like I said, a riproaring good start.

I kind of like the idea of getting my third and final IVF on the road at the end of 2008. It's almost a year to the day since my first IVF. Almost exactly a year of blogging about it. And 2009, well, it will be a new road, one way or the other. And how often do you get to do a fresh cycle and potentially thrown in a blast on ice at the same time? Wicked cool. As a testament to this solemn occasion, I have made the following vows for this, my last IVF:
  1. I will stop purloining latex gloves from the examination room. Yes, they are fun to shoot across the examining room. Yes, there is a thrill in gathering my pink paper bottom half cover and jumping off the exam table to retrieve the gloves and then shove them quickly in my purse to hide the evidence before the nurse comes in . If I simply need a pair of gloves to use at home to slice a jalapeno, I will buy them at the Kroger.
  2. I will stop fiddling with the keys and controls on the dildo cam apparatus before the nurse comes in the room. And I will not retype my name to "uterus of doom." I'm the only one who finds it amusing.
  3. I will no longer ask when the padded covers on the stirrups were last laundered.
  4. I will never ask for my HCG shot to be administered in my thigh. Never, never, never again. I will never again refer to the nurse administering the HCG shot as Satan.
  5. I will never again call the RE a weenie for giving me only two xanax. Along the same vein, I will not justify my comment by pointing out I have the tolerance of a Clydesdale.
  6. Finally, assuming I make it to transfer, I will not suggest to the RE that this time he get the embryos in my uterus, which will be more hospitable then, say, my liver or bladder.
Yep, with this kind of plan, what can go wrong??


Alacrity said...

LOL...how embarrassing about the pharmacy order...;)

Love the new vows!

I wish you success in this round.

Mermaid said...

That's an excellent Follistim story!

I used one click - that's right only ONE click of the Follistim pen from a new cartridge - on the last day of stims on my last cycle. I had three 300 vials left. Of the $900 I spent on that refill, I used a click worth. What's that, $20?

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who, ummm, has lifted a gloves from the RE. Lot's of luck!

Phoebe said...

Very funny. I used to bring in all my used syringes and needles and dump them in the RE's waste supply so I wouldn't have to pay to have it removed from my own house, LOL!

Good luck!!

Denver Laura said...

You might want to put a warning on this post. I was eating and almost choked - I was laughing so hard! GL on this round.

Mrs.X said...

I agree that you are off to a ... memorable start. Maybe memorable isn't the right word given the Follitism thing. I would have hated to make that phone call to the pharmacy telling that yes, you do in fact have it.

I think all of the goals are very laudable, except that they also take a shit load of fun out of the process. If you can't change your name to uterus of doom on the dildo screen, then what fun is there?

Seriously, sending you lots of good thoughts on this third go round.

Cassandra said...

Too funny. I look at the box of gloves every time and consider "borrowing" a couple, but I never do.

Good luck!

Joonie said...

I'm glad that your sense of humor is still going strong.

Best of luck on this cycle!

Io said...

I think you totally need to do all the things on that list. That's awesome.
And only since it all worked out in the end can I say that throwing your meds away and calling them is hilarious. (Glad it worked out!)

Denise said...

Yep, that is something I would totally do (the Follistim story). The vows for this cycle are great. Although, I kind of think you should actually do all of those things you have vowed not to do, and add about 5 more for good measure!

dmbonilla said...

I love your blog..I found your blog through someone else's (can't remember) and I visit but never post. I love your sense of humor. I live in southern CA and knew I would be reproductively challenged. Turns out..I had a pituitary tumor that was causing my reproductive issues and was treated then figured out I married the wrong man and being 37 it still dosent give me much hope.

I wish you the best of luck on this round! You deserve it.

TABI said...

I'm so excited for you to be doing IVF#3!! I love the vows and think they are good way to think differently about this last round (: I am keeping everything crossed for this one!!!

Mo and Will said...

Ah Melanie,

Hi from ICLW. I can completely relate. Also doing IVF #3. Also doing (just barely) what I need to to get through. I am planning, however, to continue pilfering from the RE's office. And I plan to continue giving them just as hard a time as ever. I'm very much looking forward to following your cycle via cyberspace. Love your writing style and sense of humor!

Oh, and thanks for stopping by earlier this week and leaving a comment! Hope to see you again soon.