Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Sweet Time

I saw the ob on Monday. I get the distinct impression he's tired of pregnant women because he never wants to talk about, well, pregnancy. My pregnancy. He measures, he waves the doppler, he checks my cervix, all while talking about the state of health care in America today and his last 18 holes. Golf, people, golf. Then I interrupt and ask the pertinent questions, like my glucose levels, strep test, and, of particular concern to me, what's happening down there??!! Strangely, I really like the guy, he's funny as hell, he's purportedly the best perinatologist in the city, but, he's amazingly nonchalant. He fails to understand that Adam is not the result of a wild drunken romp, but the result of life altering good luck, plenty of science and the financial equivalent of a Porsche Cayenne.

All that to say, Adam's taking his sweet time. I'm not dilated, but my cervix has thinned since last week. I knew this anyway because my little Alien is playing hammer time with my bladder. My hands and feet are swollen and strangely, the bottoms of my feet hurt. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the four, 5 lb bags of potatoes I've added to my frame. My largeness is becoming painful, particularly as it affects my fashion sense. Tentwear is so passe. So, I feel relatively sure that I won't be giving birth anytime soon.

That's all I know for now. Other than it's 1000 degrees outside and if my feet don't go back down to a 7 1/2 after giving birth, I will be cutting off toes and expensing the Jimmy Choos I have yet to wear from Adam's college fund. I'm not kidding.


Io said...

Heh - how can he not recognize your son is so special?! :) He sounds likable even if he is a little strange.
I hope it's somehow not as hot where you are because I can't imagine being hugely pregnant in this heat.

Denise said...

I can't believe how close you are to meeting your little one! It just makes me tear up when I think about how far you've come and how soon, very soon, you'll get to experience what you've been waiting for for so long. (that was a grammatically horrible sentence but oh well).

Shinejil said...

I have the same experience with my midwife! I swear, last appointment, we talked about colleges and her daughter's quest for the right school for at least fifteen minutes. We did the prenatal stuff in under 5 minutes...

From what they tell me, labor can really turn on a dime. So who knows? The glorious moment is on its way very soon.

Birdee said...

I wished my Dr. would make me laugh, she's a great Dr. Medically - all that I'm looking for, but she is strictly Dr.
She walks in - asks if I have any questions, does all the checks, any other questions? and leaves.
Oh well, guess that's why I paid for a Doula, so I could have a more intimate personal and funny relationship with a care provider.

Another Julia said...

Adam..what a great name. :)
Good luck...you're so close!