Tuesday, May 27, 2008

In the Summertime when the weather is warm...

I'm going on hiatus. I'm taking a summer siesta. A vacation. A furlough. A holiday.... From infertility treatments. I'm postponing IVF #2 until after Summer. August.

I need a break. I'm worn out. I want to be a normal person for a couple of months. I want to drink wine and work out (If I want) and play and work and travel and have fun and be normal. I do not want to think about my lining or the number of follicles I may or may not grow or the amount of estrogen I'm required to take or every other day visits to the RE or why or why not something does or does not or will never work.

I'm tired of the sadness and the sorrow and the uncertainty and, honestly, the pity and the I'm sorries. If truth be told (and I'm on a truthtelling rant) I'm tired of the lingo and the betas and the betas not doubling and every little thing that has to do with getting pregnant only with the assistance of two people in lab coats and a long clear tube and a petri dish. (Although xanax was fun.)

So, my plan to not turn into a bitter human involves a respite for a couple of months. I'm still going to stick around blogland, I'm just not going to be giving follicle counts and E2 levels for a while.

Whew. Thanks for listening. I feel almost human.

16 comments:

luna said...

melanie, glad to hear you are doing what you need to stay human. this i/f crap will beat the life out of you, it consumes everything. enjoy the summer, enjoy a break, enjoy your life.

hey, how'd you get the xanax? my clinic only prescribed a lame valium.

Mrs.X said...

Yay for breaks! I think we should all take one at some point. I'm very much enjoying mine. I left a positively cheerful voicemail for Dr. Uterus' nurse saying, see you in July suckers! Well, I left of the suckers part. But you get what I mean.

I think it is so wonderful that you saw that this was coming and knew that you needed a break. It takes a great deal of inner wisdom and strength to listen to yourself and to take a break when necessary. If you are going to do IVF or anything invasive like that, you need to be mentally all there.

Join me for a glass of wine this evening? A nice chilled chardonnay?

Io said...

I'm glad you recognized you needed a break. I will join you in drinking wine and enjoying the summer :)

S said...

Sounds like a wonderful plan. Summer will probably be lots more fun with more wine and less working out!!! Enjoy!

JJ said...

Have a wonderful time-away...so glad you are listening to your mind and soul. You'll come back renewed and ready to take on the world!
Enjoy fun in the sun, and some wine!

PJ said...

Well, after what you have been through I'm sure this will be wonderful!

loribeth said...

Delurking to say I recently found your blog & am enjoying your writing tremendously. Breaks are good!! Believe me, the clinic will be there when you get back & will be only too happy to take your money. Have a great holiday!

Phoebe said...

You go girl. Enjoy life!! IVF can take a huge emotional toll on you, not to mention physical toll. All that resting, non-stressing, and taking care of yourself will only benefit your egg quality too.

I don't think I can even fathom making an appointment with my RE until August myself!

Joonie said...

I think it's great! You deserve a break! Have fun, live life, enjoy everything to the last drop!

Shinejil said...

Good for you, Melanie! Please keep us updated about the good times rolling on your break.

You know I'm all about the breaks. Drink up, work out, and enjoy life!

craptastic_mail said...

Good for you! I think that's a great plan! :)

Duck said...

Good for you, it's a great idea to do what you need to do to stay human, it is all too consuming, it takes so much strength.
Have a great summer

Bean said...

Sometimes a break IS the right medicine. And what better time of year to take one! Hope you enjoy your summer "off".

Rebeccah said...

Brava! Excellent plan. Hope you have a wonderful relaxing summer : )

Denise said...

I expect updates of your summer fun! I need to live vicariously. Any trips planned?

gracechild said...

Good for you. I just took a vacation too and I think that it's really critical for us in this journey to stay in touch with who we are. A break will help you do that. Have fun