Monday, November 10, 2008

Spring Cleaning in November

When I was a little girl, back before my eggs needed wheelchairs and oxygen, after an emotional slump I would rearrange the furniture in my room. Bookshelf moved to another wall, Shawn Cassidy poster thumbtacked to the back of the door instead of over my desk. I lacked the financial resources, e.g., a job, to pull up the bright orange carpet or create a meditation garden, but physical rearrangement of my space usually did the trick. Hence, the rearrangement of my little blog. It's not much considering the personal technological impediments I don't have the patience to overcome, but it's kind of doing the trick for me.


It has been an emotional slump around these parts and not for the usual reasons. If you haven't noticed (typed firmly tongue in cheek) it's an economic maelstrom out there. At my company, hundreds of people are being informed this week that they're losing their jobs. I'm not one of them. I'm thankful and yet, down in the dumps; shoulders slumping, corners of the mouth downturned, down in the dumps. So much uncertainty for so many people, well, for all of us. In my professional life, I've had to deliver difficult news before. This has been gut wrenching. It is one thing when someone loses a job in a healthy economy. It's quite another when there are no comparable jobs to move into. Makes me want to rearrange the furniture of the country.

Dare I even point out that winter is upon us? For some, this is good news. A change of season, gentle snow showers, hot chocolate, holiday cheer. Pheh. You see falling snow, I see chapped lips and malfunctioning water heaters. You see skiing and picturesque mountains, I see mangled limbs and a directionally challenged, blind St. Bernard with an empty cask. Reindeer? Roadkill. Warm fluffy sweaters? Socks with holes in the big toe. Did I mention I got on the scale this morning? Clinical Depression, take a left at the plunging thermostat. Fa la la la laaaaa....

4 comments:

luna said...

I get a little depressed in the grey too. I also rearranged my furniture as a kid, but I think it was to have something to control, and something new.

April said...

not sure if it's grey where you are....but that is not helping me either. the long cycle. the scale. the circumstances. blah, blah, blah. i definitely feel you....

wonder if, like you, i can just do 7 days of the provera....that way maybe i have a chance of having my period start while i am in town. hmmm......

Io said...

Gah. That last paragraph just sums it up perfectly. Everything is just so damn gray here lately. I need to rearrange some furniture.

Shinejil said...

I think that rearranging urge spurred my poor guy and me to rip up our entire house and attempt to put it back together again, when there was no way to salvage our first serious attempt at science-assisted baby making.

I've been blue, too, eating too much, drinking way too much beer, fighting bouts of severe seasonal laziness. Sigh.