Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Normal?

The results of my immunological and chromosomal tests are NORMAL. I was hoping for "fanfriggingtabulous" or "damn, you've got fine chromosomes", but NORMAL will have to do. According to the RE, NORMAL is good, it's where you want to be, certainly, you don't want abNORMAL. Ok. I tried to read the report but they lost me at "factor V Leiden mutation," which I don't have, I don't think. Still waiting on E's chromosomal testing, but they're less concerned about him because he has an adult child. I told him he better not screw things up.

NORMAL. In many ways, my thoughts lately have centered around variations of NORMAL or more specifically, what's my NORMAL? Where's my place? Before we started trying to have a child, I was very sure about my place in the world. Happily married, great lifestyle, interesting trips, good job, freedom, lots of fun. When we started trying to have a child my NORMAL changed to incorporate the possibility of being a parent one day, less freedom, less travel, more responsibility, sure, but add a little human to the mix.

Now I don't know where I fit in. Will I be "happily married, great lifestyle, interesting trips, good job, freedom, lots of fun" or "less freedom, less travel, more responsibility, sure, but add a little human to the mix?" And how does one dress appropriately when the invitation doesn't specify?

So I'm struggling a bit with my NORMAL.

The good news is that the sun's shining and the flowers are blooming. And the Kentucky Derby is right around the corner. I have a new hat. Ok, and a new outfit. And you can't pair a new hat and a new outfit with old shoes. So, I've got new shoes too. And I will look anything but NORMAL.

If I do say so myself.

10 comments:

Mrs.X said...

We got the same results a few weeks ago - and we decided that our chromosomes may be normal but other than that, we're off the charts.

Normal is such an amorphous concept. In some areas, normal is a subjective bar placed by someone who has never met you. In others, it is a number that has been decided upon a bunch of scientist sitting around - again who haven't met you.

I think the important question is what is normal for you? Because, normal by other people's standards may not apply to you. In some cultures, it's normal to eat things that you and I wouldn't even think were edible. Some people think it's not normal for women to be in the workforce. See?

So, normal can't be measured by what other people think. It has to be what you think. Granted, that is going to shift just as expectations and hopes and dreams do. Nothing is static. Over the course of your life, you will probably have many "new normal" settings. But, they're yours.

Have a mint julep for me (personally, I despise them, but if it means you get some booze, then go for it) and tip your hat to a nice looking jockey.

PJ said...

Yay! Normal is a good thing.

JJ said...

Melanie, do you mind sending me a quick email--I am still not convinced we shouldnt do the chromosome testing,but I would love to know exactly what to ask my RE about..we just had a consult on Monday, and he suggested we dont need this...
(reprojeans@gmail.com) Thanks so much...

I am GLAD for the normal results--sometimes normal is frustrating isnt it?

Denise said...

Hmmm. This post really got me thinking and Mrs. X's comment is ringing very true. I never thought I would consider stabbing myself with needles "normal," but that is what it has become. I hope someday you are able to look at your life and know that normal is really extraordinary.

shinejil said...

Congrats on the normal! Though, as jj writes, good news can often be frustrating.

I wish I knew what was normal anymore: we humans can get used to just about anything. At the same time, IF is such an inbetween place, a place that is nothing but the past or possible future. Anything can happen, and it's hard to do anything until it does...

Jen said...

From your comments to your posts, I think your far better than normal!

Duck said...

NORMAL! Excellent news.

Have fun at the derby.

Evil Stepmonster said...

Our results were given to us as "apparently normal". I'm with you - what does it mean?

Theres nothing better than the beginning of spring and an excuse to dress up! I hope you back a winner.

Ahuva Batya said...

normal can be so frustrating.. nothing obvious to hang your hat on, as far as what is going on. i personlly bristle when anyone calls me normal. fyi, i'm not capitalizing because my caps key has just stopped working. that's definitely not normal.

TABI said...

I hear ya. "Normal" is a double edged sword with infertility. I have "Normal" fallopian tubes but I keep getting ectopics. So I know how hard it is to get good news that you are normal but then be left hanging all over again with no answers. I hope that this means that it's just a matter of time before you reach success!