Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Whilst I integrate my personalities.

Screw positivity, I hate IVF. Today, I have 4 embryos at 14 cells, 1 at 10 and 1 at 8. One cracked under the pressure and elected to swan dive out of the petri dish. Now I'm pondering the unponderable...what if they all go belly up? In the interest of full disclosure, I was the one who insisted, absolutely insisted, on a blast transfer. I'm wondering, of course, if I did the right thing. (This from the dumbass who yesterday would have also insisted that each of the seven would be A++grade blasts by today: three to transfer; 4 to freeze. No brainer.) I was so sure. Today, less sure. And, overall, feeling like a dumbass all over against because it's out of my hands anyway.

I'm ready to get this party started; get the show on the road; put pedal to medal. I've got 8 books from Amazon, three movies, a fully charged laptop and Jim's Good Time Pizza Emporium on speeddial. My out of office message is ready to be activited, my voice mail message has been changed twice, I've got a stack of work I'll use as a placemat for my pizza. Good heavens, I've got new batteries in my remote control. Let's move.

I call tomorrow to see if the overachievers have made it to blast. If so, I meet for some sexy time with the RE, a nurse, an embryologist and a catheter. If not, I'll go in Thursday. Lining is hanging in there, but, to my utter dismay, did not develop into a cushion of plumpness and receptivity as I fully expected. Whatever.

12 comments:

Mermaid said...

Hang in there. I'm a 5-day transfer kool-aid drinker. The best blast on Day 5 wins! Your post-transfer set-up sounds mighty comfy. Lots of luck!

Almamay said...

Going for blasts is definitely not for wimps. Keep the faith. Sending you thoughts.

Evil Stepmonster said...

Nothing like a healthy dose of high expectations! They won't all go belly up. 4 of them are doing fantastically well, and 2 other are doing just great. I have never done any better than 3 blasts from 8.

Its heart breaking I know but the whole theory behind growing them to blast is survival of the fittest. There's probably a bit of petri dish sabotage going on and some nasty psychological games while they sort out which team take on this important mission.

PJ said...

I don't know Melanie, I think those are still good numbers. And it only takes one!!!

I was soooo wimpy and didn't even ask why we didn't go to a 5 day. Not one peep. Like I said, I blame it on the valium. I was pretty much a lump after they kicked in.

Your bedrest plans are blowing mine to pieces! I've got my laptop and my remote, and my Christmas cards, and some work that I might also use as a placemat!

Still.... YAWN! I'm so bored already!

Phoebe said...

My clinic never gave me info between day 3 and 5. After the decision was made to go to day 5, it was wait and see what the embryos do. We didn't know until we got to egg retrieval, which was a bit nerve wracking. I think all will be well. Hang in there!

Duck said...

WOW they are getting really big, good signs.

GreenEggsNHam said...

Good luck!

loribeth said...

Wow, you are well prepared!! Good luck!

Sweet Georgia said...

I don't know anything about this part of the process. Just try to keep the faith!

Bean said...

Just wanted to say that I've got all my fingers crossed for you.
Good luck!

Sue said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for sexy time with the RE - hang in there!

JJ said...

Hoping lots and lots for blast babes! Enjoy that bedrest=)