My second BETA on Monday was a disappointing 336. The doctor's office left a message Monday afternoon that said "Good news, your beta went up, it's 336. Your progesterone is good also at 30.1." I recognize that my math skills are lacking, but I don't think that's close to doubling or double doubling. So I called back and spoke to the nurse practitioner:
"I thought it was supposed to double?"
"We like to see that, but your first number was so high I wasn't expecting it to."
"Yes, but Dr. Google says that if it doesn't double in 48 hours I will likely miscarry."
"Stay off the internet. It's a good number, we have no reason to be concerned at this point."
"But it didn't double, or double double."
"People are different, bodies are different. There's no reason to worry."
"When can I have another blood test?"
Pause.
"Please?"
"Ok, let's draw your blood again on Thursday."
"Morning?"
"Ok."
So, I've spent probably 47 hours researching HCG levels since Monday afternoon and I'm now exhausted and done. Obsessing, that is. My sobbing spell yesterday left me drained and out of sorts and it's time to center, as much as possible. I have absolutely no control over the outcome at this point. So, I'm going to try to relax and be confident. Otherwise, there's no way, if given the chance, I'm competent to handle this for 8+ more months.
This double, doubling sucks.
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About Me
- Melanie
- I'm a 39 year old lawyer, married since June 2006, who never thought it would take 365 days, much less 365 steps, to get knocked up. 880 days later, the final IVF (the hail Mary pass) turned into numerous positive pee sticks and a sticky embryo. My sweet baby boy was born August 18, 2009.
A brief history in time...
November 2007 - IVF #1 Nada, negative, zilch
January 2008 - FET #1 cancelled
February 2008 - FET #1 take #2 BFP but fleeting, m/c
August 2008 - IVF #2 .... Nothing positive about it, negative
December 2008 - IVF #3 BFP
Twins, but lost Little B at 7w5d
Little A measures 6.8 cm on 2-18-09
March 31, 2009 - Little A is a boy! (who weighs 7 ounces, less than a full beer)
August 18, 2009 - My Little Adam enters the world, 11 days early, at 6lbs 12 ounces.
December 25, 2009 - Adam's first Christmas, weighing in at an impressive 17 pounds.
January 2008 - FET #1 cancelled
February 2008 - FET #1 take #2 BFP but fleeting, m/c
August 2008 - IVF #2 .... Nothing positive about it, negative
December 2008 - IVF #3 BFP
Twins, but lost Little B at 7w5d
Little A measures 6.8 cm on 2-18-09
March 31, 2009 - Little A is a boy! (who weighs 7 ounces, less than a full beer)
August 18, 2009 - My Little Adam enters the world, 11 days early, at 6lbs 12 ounces.
December 25, 2009 - Adam's first Christmas, weighing in at an impressive 17 pounds.
8 comments:
I have my fingers crossed for you. Maybe it is that there were two and one didn't make it. That's what the nurse had hoped for me. Sadly, it wasn't the case, but it does happen. I can't believe she didn't want you to do a third beta (automatically).
Why can't any of this be easy? I had the same thought as Azalea Baby about there initially being two. I'll be checking in on you obsessively Thursday.
Melanie, I hope that Azalea baby is right and you have one strong one. Stay away from Dr. Google and eat some cake with frosting. I'm rooting for you.
Yikes! I hope all goes well tomorrow and this proves to be yet another unwelcome bump in the road.
If your doc feels good about it, though, seems like a good sign to me.
Yes, stay away from Dr. Google! (although telling a lawyer not to research is like telling the sun not to shine)... Just try to breathe deeply and take good care of yourself until the next beta. We're all thinking good thoughts for you.
Oh honey, I know first hand the pain of Dr. Google! I really would try not to worry - which I know is like saying don't breathe, but there isn't anything you can do about it (except stay away from Dr. Google!). This is a rollercoaster and the best you can do is just hang on tight.
Sending you hugs.
Damn those betas! Why do they wreak such havoc! I hope that tomorrow's beta shows continued increase. There are many women who don't double in 48 hours, it can take longer to double. I have everything crossed for you!
It is desirable for your beta to double but there are woman who don't follow this pattern and go on to have a healthy pregnancy.
I hope you are one of them and wish you as much peace as you can possible have whilst waiting for the next number xx
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