Wednesday, March 12, 2008

2nd Beta

My second BETA on Monday was a disappointing 336. The doctor's office left a message Monday afternoon that said "Good news, your beta went up, it's 336. Your progesterone is good also at 30.1." I recognize that my math skills are lacking, but I don't think that's close to doubling or double doubling. So I called back and spoke to the nurse practitioner:

"I thought it was supposed to double?"
"We like to see that, but your first number was so high I wasn't expecting it to."
"Yes, but Dr. Google says that if it doesn't double in 48 hours I will likely miscarry."
"Stay off the internet. It's a good number, we have no reason to be concerned at this point."
"But it didn't double, or double double."
"People are different, bodies are different. There's no reason to worry."
"When can I have another blood test?"
Pause.
"Please?"
"Ok, let's draw your blood again on Thursday."
"Morning?"
"Ok."

So, I've spent probably 47 hours researching HCG levels since Monday afternoon and I'm now exhausted and done. Obsessing, that is. My sobbing spell yesterday left me drained and out of sorts and it's time to center, as much as possible. I have absolutely no control over the outcome at this point. So, I'm going to try to relax and be confident. Otherwise, there's no way, if given the chance, I'm competent to handle this for 8+ more months.

This double, doubling sucks.

8 comments:

Azalea Baby said...

I have my fingers crossed for you. Maybe it is that there were two and one didn't make it. That's what the nurse had hoped for me. Sadly, it wasn't the case, but it does happen. I can't believe she didn't want you to do a third beta (automatically).

Denise said...

Why can't any of this be easy? I had the same thought as Azalea Baby about there initially being two. I'll be checking in on you obsessively Thursday.

Io said...

Melanie, I hope that Azalea baby is right and you have one strong one. Stay away from Dr. Google and eat some cake with frosting. I'm rooting for you.

shinejil said...

Yikes! I hope all goes well tomorrow and this proves to be yet another unwelcome bump in the road.

If your doc feels good about it, though, seems like a good sign to me.

Rebeccah said...

Yes, stay away from Dr. Google! (although telling a lawyer not to research is like telling the sun not to shine)... Just try to breathe deeply and take good care of yourself until the next beta. We're all thinking good thoughts for you.

Mrs.X said...

Oh honey, I know first hand the pain of Dr. Google! I really would try not to worry - which I know is like saying don't breathe, but there isn't anything you can do about it (except stay away from Dr. Google!). This is a rollercoaster and the best you can do is just hang on tight.

Sending you hugs.

TABI said...

Damn those betas! Why do they wreak such havoc! I hope that tomorrow's beta shows continued increase. There are many women who don't double in 48 hours, it can take longer to double. I have everything crossed for you!

Carrie said...

It is desirable for your beta to double but there are woman who don't follow this pattern and go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

I hope you are one of them and wish you as much peace as you can possible have whilst waiting for the next number xx