Oh, no, not about my hcg levels taking a swan dive, but about kicking back for a while and not giving thought to next steps. I like the idea of wallowing, but it's not working for me. I need a plan. I'm not demanding a "Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick", just a plan. So, my plan is thus:
1. Continue drinking wine.
2. Get my blood drawn on Monday.
3. Meet with my RE to get an idea about what the flip happened.
4. Go to Cornell April 18th for a consult.
5. Drink more wine.
I would love not to leave my clinic. I love the personal attention and care. I love the convenience. But I think I've only got one more cycle in me and if I'm going to do it, I want the greatest likelihood of success. I would love to know if anyone has any experience with Cornell and what your thoughts are. E is convinced that I'm considering New York because of the shoe shopping. Please. That's only half the reason.
But the real reason for this post is to say thank you. I'm okay. Really, I'm okay and I attribute so much of it to you. For lifting me up, crying with me, checking on me, yelling at the world with me and reminding me that I'm not alone. I've been kicked in the ass by circumstance, but so have many of you. I'm pleased to say that it's hard to wallow in the cesspool of self-pity for too long when you realize that we've all had to shovel shit at one time or another. (And that little piece of literary eloquence should get me the Pulitzer.) You've been wonderful. And I've never had to worry that one of you would say something like "my third cousin twice removed got pregnant after 12 in vitro attempts and a hysterectomy, so you just need to relax."
So my plan is to try this again, either here or there, at some point in the next couple or three months. That's good enough for now.