Unable to stand the uncertainty, I asked to move my blood test to today. Results are a heartbreaking 140. Miscarriage is on its way.
Tonight I will drink wine.
Tomorrow I will book plane tickets and hotel in Anguilla.
Saturday I will have a massage.
I will think about other plans...later.
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About Me
- Melanie
- I'm a 39 year old lawyer, married since June 2006, who never thought it would take 365 days, much less 365 steps, to get knocked up. 880 days later, the final IVF (the hail Mary pass) turned into numerous positive pee sticks and a sticky embryo. My sweet baby boy was born August 18, 2009.
A brief history in time...
November 2007 - IVF #1 Nada, negative, zilch
January 2008 - FET #1 cancelled
February 2008 - FET #1 take #2 BFP but fleeting, m/c
August 2008 - IVF #2 .... Nothing positive about it, negative
December 2008 - IVF #3 BFP
Twins, but lost Little B at 7w5d
Little A measures 6.8 cm on 2-18-09
March 31, 2009 - Little A is a boy! (who weighs 7 ounces, less than a full beer)
August 18, 2009 - My Little Adam enters the world, 11 days early, at 6lbs 12 ounces.
December 25, 2009 - Adam's first Christmas, weighing in at an impressive 17 pounds.
January 2008 - FET #1 cancelled
February 2008 - FET #1 take #2 BFP but fleeting, m/c
August 2008 - IVF #2 .... Nothing positive about it, negative
December 2008 - IVF #3 BFP
Twins, but lost Little B at 7w5d
Little A measures 6.8 cm on 2-18-09
March 31, 2009 - Little A is a boy! (who weighs 7 ounces, less than a full beer)
August 18, 2009 - My Little Adam enters the world, 11 days early, at 6lbs 12 ounces.
December 25, 2009 - Adam's first Christmas, weighing in at an impressive 17 pounds.
28 comments:
Oh Melanie, I am so very very sorry. This is a terrible blow. Life is so unfair.
Drink lots of wine, worry about tomorrow when it comes.
Thinking of you xx
Oh honey, I am so, so sorry for you. That is just heartbreaking. I wish it weren't so. Take as much time (and wine) as you need to heal. I also recommend finding anything furry and snorgling it. I'm sending you lots and lots and lots of hugs.
I'm so sorry . I think wine & anguilla are a great plan. hot baths with the wine are also very nice.
indulge and take care of yourself.
xo
heather (s&p)
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm hoping that there is something wrong with their lab testing. Is that possible? A vacation sounds like a very nice distraction right now. Be gentle with yourself.
NOOOOOOO!!!!
I'm so, so sorry. This just sucks beyond belief.
Ditto.
What Io said.
I'm so sorry.
Oh no ...
I'm so very very sorry.
Many cyberhugs.
~R
oh melanie, I am so so sorry. I had my hopes high for you. this really rots. wine and massage and vacation are good. but I know your heart is breaking too. so very sorry. wish there was something I could say. ~luna
DANG! I'm so sorry. I've been watching and keeping the faith with you. E
I am so so terribly sorry! I can't stand that this is happening to fellow bloggers and my heart goes out to you. Be good to yourself and drink wine and do spa treatments as long as you need. Ugh, I am so mad this is happening. So sorry again.
I am so, very sorry Melanie. Mt thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
I am so, so sorry, Melanie.
Get a really good bottle. I hope a little time by the sea takes the edge off the disappointment and sadness.
I just don't know what to write. I am so very sorry for you. Now is a very appropriate time to be selfish. Do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. Big hug to you from me!!!!!
Sweetie, I am so so sorry. What terrible news.
Oh, no. I am so sorry. That's awful.
i'm very very sorry. that just sucks.
I am so incredibly sorry.
Wine is a good thing....bittersweet I know.
Im so very sorry...
I am so very sorry. So many losses are difficult to take - I know.
I wish you peace and comfort and much better ahead.
melanie, I won't ask how you're doing, because I can imagine. just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sending some virtual love. ~luna
I am so sad with you. Sad and angry. Please take care. This is so unfair.
Hello, I just found your blog, and wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I have been through four losses and I know how painful it can be. Enjoy your wine, et al. and be good to yourself. Sending healing thoughts your way.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
Bea
I am sorry
I wish I could do more or say more than I'm sorry to take the pain away. Take care of yourself. If you need anything, to vent, to cry, to bitch, to fashion a voodoo RE doll, let me know.
Hope you are hanging in there. I've been thinking of you and hoping you are ok. I know how hard this all is and I wish I could be more than a virtual shoulder.
Melanie,
My heart is breaking for you. I am so so so sorry. There aren't adequate words.
(((Hugs)))
so sorry to read this. wine is essential. Drink lots.
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